I was on the rooftop I looked above the sky; it looks different as it was. I sniff the air, the smells kinda different too. Then, I heard a car crashing on the road, it was then, I realized saudian drivers only usually do their cars sounds like that, I sighed and said, "I'm in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia"
It's been 8 months; I'm living my life totally different from what it was then. I look above, and wonder what if, I never been to where I'm standing right now? What if, I never faced those battles behind me? Maybe, like a pond, I was been stagnant and like a river, I never learned to stand.
Being alone, where you were used to be with your love ones is very difficult. Growing, without someone who used to tell you, you must do this, do that makes me always wanting to hear a whisper behind my ear if I am not sure of what I ought to do and decide. I want the spank of my sister on my forehead. I want the words of advice of my mother; I want the hugs and sniff on my cheeks and ear of my aunt and uncles, I want the encouragement of my cousins, I want the laughter and tap of my friends. But those things were all have been vanished by distance. Their memories are all just I can have unto this moment of being far from them.
I hate living distant from my love ones, but I have to. I need to learn, I need to grow, and I need change. Being the youngest in our family, made me grew dependently for so many things. Learning to become independent is not an easy task, but, I learned to enjoy it in every single day of my life being away from them. I never knew I will easily learn to make my own food, and enjoy it. I never imagined that in the whole two years of my stay here, I’ll be the one to wash my own clothes (thanks for joy2x for helping me ;-). I am also in a quick stand to put all my needs in a budget. It’s not only being responsible of my own self that I have learned. I have learned also how to deal with my emotions. After, almost befall into craziness, I’ve learned that one way to be always good and fine, is to ignore the feelings of sadness and boredom. Do not learn to embrace it and never learn to know how to dwell on it. I had so many battles also, fought against my weaknesses. I thank the greatest man above for making me a murderer, murderer of my own weaknesses. He made me the greatest survivor of my own war. Now, I’m learning to be aware more of my aptitude. I am learning to stand for it, be happy I have it and make use of it. I also, thank god for letting me know more that I have my brain that is well-designed and serviceable (am I sure about this? LOL!).
My old self darkness is almost shaded by the color of my new self. Changes are all in front of me, and I love walking unto its journey. It’s like I’m jumping in a clean, grass of hope and courage with laughter that strikes through my veins. Thrilled by the endeavors of tomorrow, my arms are all ready to embrace it all.
In all honesty, I feel great, that once I exist is this place. Among my friends not-to-be-forgotten that I’d just met here, my genuine gratitude to all of you (you know who you are). Thanks for continue sharing your life in me, thanks for the antidote moments against sadness we always share. I will never come to love the distance if not by I’m here with you.
Far-off- --an experience I never imagined to love ;-)
and i'm glad you considered me as one of your reasons... and hey, just so you know, you're one of my reasons too.. hehehe..can't forget na nag momoment ako at andun kayo na ngmamasahe sa akin, soothing my tantrums and making me feel na you, all of you, will always be there for me in my times of weakness and despair.. and i know that despite these tough times, amidst these unlikely situations, and numbers of not-so-nice persons, you, my super freaking-pretty/all-fun/beautiful-soul friends will always be my own brand of "peace of mind", my serenity, and my only source of true happiness in this God forsaken place... hahahahahah... mishu really.. halin ina sa kadaluman nga parte sang kasingkasing ko.. dumdumon ta gid kmo hangtud sa katubtuban... kaya ta ni... EMMANUEL..
ReplyDeletei'm ecstatic and really glad that you considered me as one of your reasons.. and hey, just so you know, you're one of my reasons too.. heheheh... i will never forget yung time na ng moment ako at andun kayo lahat, minamasahe ako. soothing my tantrums and making me feel na you, all of you, will always be there for me in my times of weakness and despair.. i know deep in my heart that in these tough times, amidst these unlikely situations, and meeting some not-so-nice persons, you, my super-freaking-pretty/all-fun/beautiful-soul amigas and CHAIs will always be my own personal brand of "peace of mind", my serenity, my true happiness in this God forsaken place... hahahhahahahaha... sa kaidaluman sang akon kasingkasing, dumdumon ta gid kamo hangtud sa katubtuban... kaya ta ni!!! EMMANUEL...
ReplyDeletewe need to..we need to always be strong enough to face those tough times of our lives here. for some its just, but for us, young, new, innocent..hmp!living in this place is too hard. but hey! how we love the thought that we have each other, hand to hand to raise each others boredom and sadness.Thank god, we have been all the rainbow in this rain we have here.
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